That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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