i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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