I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
