you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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