I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
