You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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