Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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