She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
As shirtless as possible
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
