We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
