Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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