I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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