some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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