he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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