Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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