I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
