Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
