I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
