AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
