I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
