i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
