guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
