sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
