Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The adults are the big ones right?
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