i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They have beer where we have blood.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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