I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
