Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How's work?
Spinning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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