i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
