Will you blow on my dice?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
