She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Welp...herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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