just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize