ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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