i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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