how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
pray to the hookup gods
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
