billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize