the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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