Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
