do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
