OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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