im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
