We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
