hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
