Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
