SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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