I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
