I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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