Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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