i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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