Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
