My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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