Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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