I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They took my balls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
