Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the day after is always just damage control
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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