Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
