...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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