he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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