drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
