I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize