David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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