Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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