i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize