You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize