is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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