Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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