It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
